Frustrated, impatient, raging…aaarrrrrrgh! Yes, it's very normal to feel angry. We are human, after all. “Anger is a gift.” This line sticks in mind even after more than two decades, as does the rest of Rage Against The Machine’s self-titled debut, because of its power.
But if anger causes problems in our life, if it interferes with your health and happiness then consider these 17 facts about anger that you probably need to know and you just might discover an untapped well of vital energy that improves your life circumstances and wakes you up to the whole of life. Some of the following facts about anger may surprise as well as impress you, but all told anger’s gift is one that can damage the body or soul of the angry host, so recognition and control of anger is the key to using the emotion effectively.
1. It’s easier to feel anger than hurt.
Anger tends to be a surface emotion. But if you look at what is driving the anger, you will often find hurt, pain, or fear. Can you tell the truth to yourself about what you are actually feeling? Can you meet the depth of your experience with supreme kindness? You might be surprised at the freedom you discover.
2. Anger has a strong physical component.
Bring out the microscope when you are angry, and you will find strong physical sensations – tightness, contraction, burning. Anger is a fiery emotion full of energy. If you don’t want to be caught in anger, bring your attention right into these physical sensations. Without running a story in your mind, fully allow yourself to feel what is present. It might be difficult, but you won’t actually combust, I promise you. Be real with your sensations, and eventually the anger will stop controlling you.
3. Anger is not inherently bad.
While anger pits in the stomach, the emotion itself is not inherently bad. Men, women and children experience anger differently. Whereas children most often feel anger from the perspective of frustration–they can’t have what they want when they want it–adults get angry when they feel out of control. Anger itself isn’t a bad or even a dangerous thing, but it always needs consideration. As with any emotion, understanding why it is felt is the first step to reaping its benefits.
4. Anger Is Totally, Completely Normal
Anger is one of the most basic human emotions. Taken at face value, anger is merely a response to abnormal or dangerous situations, and there’s really nothing good or bad about it. What makes it good or bad, however, is how you respond to anger.
5. One benefit of anger is motivation.
When we feel that emotion that riles us up, we also feel motivated. At first, knowing how best to act is difficult, but in time the emotion of anger can drive us to create something innovated to solve a problem. While we can all relate to anger as a result of injustice or pain (like when a lover cheats or a boss promotes another worker), we don’t always realize that stress and taking on too much can cause angry outbursts. The body and mind sometimes work together to tell us we need to cut back at work or find more time to relax. Motivating ourselves to enjoy life more and stress less is one of the best benefits of anger.
6. Uncontrolled anger and angry outbursts are linked to stroke and heart attack.
When you just can’t shake the anger and it feeds off itself for too long, you will either find yourself making yourself physically sick or your outburst can land you in jail. An article published by CNN shows a link between angry outbursts and increased risk for heart attack and stroke. Smoking, poor diet and lack of exercise can exacerbate the effects of anger, putting you at an increased risk for cardiovascular events.
7. Anger causes separation.
Speaking of separation, what are the effects when you are angry? Anger pushes people away, scares them, makes them fight back or shut down. Relationships don’t have room to breathe when they are defined by anger. “How could you?” “You shouldn’t have…” Sound familiar?
Remember that anger – or any reaction – is not the fault of the other. If you are angry, look within yourself. Lovingly investigate what has been triggered in you, and your whole perspective on the situation will shift.
8. Anger gets attention.
Maybe you express anger because you want attention. Depending on the circumstance, this could be a useful strategy. But consider this: there may be other ways for you to express yourself so that you are heard. Open up your mind and heart to all the possibilities.
9. Anger is an emotion with physiological effects.
We all understand the feeling of a rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms and burning stomach as our muscles tighten and we feel anger. The “fight or flight” system engages as we decide how best to deal with our anger. According to an article in Psychology Today , expressing anger is always the best thing for you. When anger feeds off itself, your release of anger causes you more damage. Be wary of the cycle that wreaks havoc on your nervous system.
10. Gender plays a huge role.
It’s no stretch to say that, at least in Western culture, anger is a masculine emotion. And, as a result, boys and girls are are taught different things when it comes to managing their anger. Boys are socialized to be more aggressive, and girls, more passive. As adults, men are more likely to express their anger physically and impulsively; women, on the other hand, tend to have a
harder time expressing their anger, and tend to be resentful and angrier for longer than men. In the end, though, neither of these coping mechanisms are healthy ways to deal with anger.
11. Anger Affects Your Health.
People with a short fuse, according to several scientific studies, can increase your likelihood of suffering from heart disease and strokes.
12. Anger can transform into useful action.
Taking in all the problems in the world can bring about a sense of injustice. Yet, if you move from anger, you are missing out on the whole picture. Meet your anger with love and let your heart break open. Then move forward with actions that are wise and skillful.
13. Humor can diffuse anger.
Realizing that life is stressful is only the first step. Actually, the realization is more like lacing up the shoes than even taking that first step. The first step comes from the understanding that anger is an emotion that men and women feel differently, and anger does not have to control us. The simple act of laughing at anger can diffuse it. In an argument, one person can defeat the mounting anger with a joke. I wouldn’t recommend a stand-up comedy act to diffuse a dangerous hostage situation, but when your coworkers can’t agree on a project, trying to diffuse the situation with office antics can help everyone get focused.
14. Anger Can Be Caused by the Strangest Things.
Many people like to describe their anger as something that happens to them; the tailgater and the line-cutters caused their outburst, not their reaction to other people’s rude behavior. But the truth is often way more complicated than that. Traumatic events can cause people to develop a short fuse. But even the most patient people in the world, when placed in uncomfortable
circumstances, can be prone to angry outbursts. Hunger, hot weather, aches and pains, dehydration, and even being left-handed, can increase your chances of getting angry.
15. A plan for relaxation can combat anger.
In an attempt to benefit from anger, you should plan to relax on a regular basis. Along with eating well and exercising, planning time to relax by taking the kids to the park or enjoying a show with a friend can combat anger. We plan as much as we can for work, for our families and for our futures, but when we forget to plan to relax we give rise to anger.
16. Anger traps you.
The arising of anger is not necessarily a problem, and is not even under your control. What matters is how you relate to anger once it is present. If you dwell in the energetic sensations and convince yourself that your thoughts are true, anger overtakes you. But there is an alternative: feel the sensations and tell the truth about the story. Then anger is your ally – revealing
more and more deeply the essence of you. How does anger impact your life? What is your experience of dealing with it?
17. Anger teaches us about our ability to cope
We all experience anger from time to time, and even when we repeatedly feel frustrated and irritable our feelings may not indicate anything abnormal. Anger teaches us about our ability to cope because we can easily and objectively look at ourselves and answer a few questions. Am I feeling angry? Sometimes, we feel pressured or rushed and that leads to anger. Solving the underlying problem in this situation means planning and being more organized.
When we realize that we are having a hard time managing anger, we might need to look more closely at how our lives are structured. While we can’t always knock off work and take a weekend trip to a quiet beach, we can work on the controlling biggest stressors in our lives. When we find we can no longer control our emotions, cope effectively or express aggression, we need to consider anger management. Sometimes, anger is a gift we’d best return.
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