Funny Quotes

Life can be funny sometimes. Well, so can life quotes… This is a list of the funny life quotes we could find :

 

"If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!" - Anonymous

"When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window." - Anonymous

"A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest." - Winston Churchill

"Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face." - Anonymous

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein

"What I do when I see someone pretty is I stare I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down." -  Anonymous

"I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year." - Anonymous

"Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected." - Anonymous

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems." - Anonymous

"How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target." - Anonymous

"My friend, remember...without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all." - Anonymous

"For 2014 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes. Happy New Year!" - Anonymous

"Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to!" - Anonymous

"I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it." - Anonymous

"I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty, then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was." - Anonymous

"There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right." - Anonymous

"Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least 5 years to the age of their best friend." -  Anonymous

"Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don’t have & waste an entire day without having a life." - Anonymous